moving on…

I have been in Bermuda for 6 months now.  It’s something I didn’t plan but just landed on my shoes and decided to grab at that very instant.  Actually, my decision making was not very easy.  I spent numerous sleepless nights thinking if I should take this rare opportunity or just continue on with my life the way I’ve always known it to be.  Apparently, after much deliberation, I decided to leave my comfort zone and live in an island in the middle of the Atlantic. 

What made me decide to just leave my life behind?  I’m not exactly sure what’s the most compelling reason but I’m pretty sure it’s not the new job waiting for me here.  Yeah, I’m back to being an auditor and now that I’m one, I just miss my old job with a pang.  But that’s another story.   Looking back, I did have a number of reasons why I accepted this assignment.  First, the money was really big.  Bermudian dollars are pegged to the USD so I’m very happy with the exchange rate.  Plus, there are no taxes so I get to see all my hardwork not just in my paycheck but in my bank account.  The money reason then branches out to a lot of things, the primary one is my family.  Now that I have the money, I get to help my family out a lot without pinching pennies for myself in the end.  Of course I get to save for my future too for whatever I decide to do after whether it’s my MBA or just maybe for pleasure.  Who knows. 

Second, Bermuda is very close to the US, just a 2 hour flight to NY, the city I love the most (so far, that is) and 6-7 hour flight to the West Coast where most of my family now lives.  That’s a lot shorter than the 16 or more hours of journey to the US from the Philippines. My family loves to get together and at least now I could be in every gathering they organize without worrying about taking long vacations to make the most out of my expensive flights from home and of course on who’s paying for my airfare because now, I can pay them myself with some extra for shopping

Evidently, my family is one of the major reasons I moved.  Yes, I love my family a lot and I love spending time with them so that’s a big chunk of the big reasons for the big move.  But the biggest reason for my move is myself.  I needed a drastic change in my life so I’d know who, what and where I really want to be.  I know people could know the answer to that without going anywhere but in my case, i need two steps (or maybe even more) further away from my comfort zone to see that.  When I was in NY, I realized there’s a whole different world out there that I need to see to understand better, if not fully, the world I live in and I can only do that by traveling or living in another country.  I knew then that I need to experience what’s outside the bubble I live in.  I had to pop that bubble and be adventurous while I am young and could still manage such a big change then maybe, just maybe, i’ll get closer to the answers I’ve been looking for and if I don’t, at least I could say I tried putting together the pieces of the puzzle called world.

back to reality

After my 5-day long vacation, I am practically dragging my feet back to work, which is exactly what I hate about long vacation leaves, work welcomes me like a baby misses its mom.  All my days of rest and relaxation are gone.  Actually, all the stress that I’m having now outbalanced the breather that I had that I want to go on leave forever! Of course, that’s not possible unless I want to be poorer than a rat.

Aside from going back to working my ass off, I am conditioning my brains to go back to reviewing for my GMAT.  I know I have been putting it off for months now and there’s nobody to blame but me.  Actually, I’m still having cold feet especially when I’m thinking of the millions I’ll be spending to finance my MBA.  I have to put in my head that I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.  The money will come.  I just have give my best for my GMAT.  Argh! I hate myself for procrastinating.  But yeah, I’ll be a good girl from now on.  I’ll allot at least 2 hours a day for my review.  No exceptions!

Also, I have to start talking to alumni from different B-schools.  I already saw one possible contact from Wharton but due to my laziness, I haven’t even started thinking of what I will ask her in my email.  Hardiharhar!  I haven’t even started in the process yet and my mañana habit is already showing.  Hopefully the B-schools won’t get wind that I have that repulsive attitude. 

*Sigh*  I guess I have to stop thinking of all the things I have to do for my B-school applications and get over with my GMAT first.  I need to know how I’d score first so I’d have an idea which schools I will apply to.  Hmmm…to put it more accurately, I have to condition myself to get at least 700.  Actually, I want 750 but since I can’t gauge myself yet, I’d go for 700 for now.

In the meantime, I need to go back to work.   ZZZzzzzz

i *heart* New York!!!

It's been 4 months since I've left New York and quite unexpectedly, I still have nostalgic memories of the place.  I feel a certain longing whenever I see a place in NY whether on TV or the net.  A certain high sweeps through me whenever I hear songs on the hit list while I was there (Last night…I couldn't even get an answer!)  I love NY! I never thought I would but yeah, I did and I still do!  I know some people see it as garbage but you have to give credit to the uniqueness of the place.  It may have filthy streets and stinking subways but there's no place quite like New York.  Here are some of my reasons:

• You can go anywhere, anytime.  Thanks  to its efficient transportation system (a.k.a. its subways), which is open to the public 24/7.  Every corner there's a station you can reach and the lines are connected somewhere somehow that you can transfer to another line without paying another cent (it costs $2 per ride near or far).    You just have to grab a map to make sure you  won't get lost and listen to announcements for closed rails or reroutings during weekends and off-peak times.

• Changing it may be, I still love the weather there (include their very accurate forecasts).  I love the fact that it's not hot all year round and there are 4 seasons that make the place more exciting than it already is.  Yeah, the bitter cold and the snow (specially the snow!) may be irksome at times but at least something can be done about it, that is, wear layers of the right clothing or turn on the heater.  At least you get to dress up differently each season.  Fashion, fashion, fashion!

• You can walk wherever whenever and still feel clean and comfortable while welcoming the amusing view of the city and its comical people going about their lives.  And it is safe, contrary to what some movies and other media allude to.  I have walked the dark deserted streets in the most unholy hour and reached home unscathed without going through any paranoia that someone or something is attempting to hound me.

    

• Parks! Central park is splendid! It's free, big, scenic, natural and active in every sense of the word.  Joggers, athletes, musicians, kids, writers, lovers, dogs, name it, it's in Central Park.  You can pass your time there without shelling out a single penny.  Ain't that a breather from our usual hang-out places like malls, which suck out our money like vacuum? 

• Shopping! Though I never really shopped my heart out, I did enjoy looking at the goodies there.  They're not at all inexpensive but designer items are definitely way  cheaper there than they are in the Philippines, that is, if you go to the right store.  If you're just staying in the city and have no time, Century 21 is definitely the best place to shop.  It carries a whole array of selections from the most well-known brands to names I haven't heard of my entire life at the least prices (plus taxes of course).  But if time is not an issue, outlet stores are definitely a must.  You'll find quality goods at the best prices. 

• There's always a place you could go to and kill time and actually enjoy.  If you want to have a little cultural immersion, there are museums everywhere, the Met, Museum of Natural History, Museum of Modern Art, and Guggenheim to name a few.  It's good to spend time in museums, I get to learn a lot and actually see and feel what I usually just read in my school books.  If you want culture but want it in a different medium, you could buy a ticket to a Broadway show or if you're a bit old fashioned, to an opera.  I've seen both and it's worth the try.  I enjoyed Les Miserables and I appreciated Madama Butterfly (an opera).  And on just any other day, you could just hop on a train and get off at Times Square where there's always a whole bunch of people, tourists and locals alike, walking the streets finding something worthwhile to spend their time with, spot a celebrity or probably just take their own pictures. 

• Some people hate it, but the sheer busyness of the street when I get out of my apartment is exhilarating.  For a foreigner like me who has no family and friends around, it sure made me not feel homesick.  The hustle and bustle of NYC is actually one of the topmost things I miss about NY.  

• Did I ever mention the dating scene?  If you're single and looking, NY is definitely the best place for you.  You can meet a plethora of different personalities.  True, you may not like all of them but it's getting to know somebody new in the process that counts.   I did gain new friends while I was dating in the city.  It was fun.

• New York made me realize that it's not a small world after all.  In my country, I only get to interact with Americans, fellow Asians, British and some Germans.  Even when I went to Singapore, I never got to see so many races all in one place.  It was actually fun to watch different shades of hair walk by the streets of the city.  But it was more fun to get to know different cultures without actually going to different countries.  Just by talking, you'll get to learn the differences and similarities of  cultures from the most popular to not so well-known countries from the seven corners of the world.

• But of all the things that made me love New York, it is the openness of its people that tops my list.  Everybody gets to act him/herself and nobody pronounces judgment on anybody.  Well, so long as nobody gets hurt in the process.  It is actually liberating to act without inhibitions and needless worries about other people's superficial opinions. 

I may never justly put to words what kind of city New York is like.  But I do understand now why a lot of people wear shirts that say "I LOVE NY!"

Buntis Moments

Due to unbearable boredom, my friends and I came up with the idea of showing the whole world thru friendster that I'm pregnant and letting all the ever curious chismosos and chismosas guess/pick who might the father be from a roll of pictures where I'm hugged by equally eligible (sige na nga!) bachelors.  

The Victim

Hmmm…I never thought pregnancy would look good on me…PWEDE!  Well, at least even if I don't get pregnant in my entire fertile life, I had the chance to feel or at least look pregnant!

The Suspects

 Pick the Father Choice No. 1

 Pick the Father Choice No. 2

 Pick the Father Choice No.3

 Pick the Father Choice No.4

Pick the Father Choice No.5

Those are the choices.  It was fun.  Hits on my friendster page within 6 hours probably matched (or maybe even surpassed) those  of the latest celebrity columns (local nga lang) proof that news of unexpected pregnancies are still hot and controversial as they always were in the past.  Hey! I thought we're all living in the new millennium where people are already used to such episodes that they are now considered frivolous.  Tsk tsk…well, I just have to accept that people don't change easily.  We still live in a society of creatures thriving in the demise of others.  Then again, I still enjoyed posting these pictures and playing around with gossipmonger's watchful eyes! 

Hey you all nosy parkers, you just made my day!!! (and I probably made yours hundredfold!)

mga obserbasyon ko sa amerika, amerikano at amerikana

1. andameng lahi dito. me puti, itim, pinoy, intsik, bombay, german, ewan ko kung ano pa un iba. dito pa lang sa opisina napapaligiran ako ng iba't ibang lahi. un nasa likod parang me lahing bombay pero halo na hindi ko mapagtanto kung ano. un nasa kanan ko german ata kse un pananalita nya ay parang puntong german. kakaiba ang kulay ng buhok nya pati ng mga kaibigan nya na pumupunta lagi sa kanya at nakikipag-usap ng german. blue din ang mata nya. un isa naman sa harap ko, puti. ganon lang kasimple. un nagtuturo sa kin, itim naman. talagang maitim. tinitingnan ko un kamay nya at parang mahahalintulad mo sa uling ang kulay. un boss naman nila ay galing egypt. kung hindi ako nagkakamali, nasa lahi din un ng mga arabo. mabait sya at gustung gusto nya ang pilipinas. pilipina ang asawa nya. ano kaya hitsura ng mga anak nila? di natin alam…
2. hindi sila kasing sigla ng mga pilipino kung magtrabaho. sa kabila ng kalakihan ng sweldo nila (di ko nakita pero inaassume ko lang), e parang lagi silang tatamad tamad. ang aga pa nila umuwi. inoobserbahan ko sila habang nagtatrabaho para bang napakadali ng ginagawa nila. nagdadaldalan din sila tulad natin pero laging tungkol lang sa panahon o sa lotto ang usapan. bukod pa dun, mabagal sila magtrabaho. hindi sa nagmamayabang ako, pero mas magagaling tayong pinoy sa kanila lalo na sa computer. naturingan sa kanila galing ang advanced na teknolohiya, sila un hindi marunong gumamit nito.
3. mareklamo din sila tulad natin. ang kaibahan lang, sila lunes pa lang at kakatapos ng lunch break e nagrereklamo na na pagod na daw sila. konting dagdag lang sa gagawin nila, panay na reklamo ang maririnig mo. samantalang sa tin, un ginagawa ng isang tao na trabaho e katumbas na ng trabaho na ginagawa ng 4 na tao sa kanila. sino ang may karapatang magreklamo?
4. mahilig silang bumati ng "good morning", "how you doin?", at kung anoano pa na with feelings talaga. pag bumati ka sa kanila ng ganyan, sasagutin ka din nila ng punungpuno ng emosyon.
5. mahilig din sila magpasalamat. at pag nagpasalamat ka sa kanila, panigurado sasabihan ka nila ng "you're welcome" na damang dama.
6. takot sila sa sakit. un nagtuturo sa kin, gusto nya sa kabilang direksyon ako huminga kse daw kakagaling nya sa sakit at baka mahawa ko sya. hehehe! wala ko pakelam. kahit malayo ako sa kanila, kakalat ang virus ko na galing pinas!
7. tahimik sila sa opisina hindi katulad natin na maiingay at tawa ng tawa. kung iisipin ko nga, wala pa ko narinig dito na tawa na tulad ng tawanan sa pilipinas.
8. nakayuko sila maglakad sa kalye. akala ko dati nun napapanood ko un sa tv e nalulungkot o nahihiya lang sila kaya sila nakayuko. yon pala kya sila nakayuko dahil ubod ng lamig. iniiwasan lang nila na pumasok sa mga mata nila at sa ibang parte pa ng mukha nila ang lamig. ganon na din ako maglakad dito ngayon. pero kung minsan di ko talga matiis. tumitingala ako at tinititingnan ko mga mukha nila. kakasawa din tumingin sa sapatos at sa kalye.
9. hindi ko alam kung bakit pero nakukuryente ako sa mga bagay dito. di kya crush ako ng lahat?! asa pa ko.
10. nagugulat sila pag sinasabi ko na may mga katulong kme sa bahay. at lalo sila nagfreak out pag sinabi ko na ung katulong ay nakatira sa bahay namin.
11. malalaki ang mga kalye dito. parang lahat expressway. pwera sa new york
12. walang masyadong tao na naglalakad sa kalye pwera na lang sa mga siyudad. lahat sila nakakotse.
13. ang snow pala ay parang yelo sa halohalo. pinapino lang.
14. gusto din nila manalo ng jackpot sa lotto.
15. pinapanood ng mga magulang ang aktibidades ng mga anak nila dito. nagiging "family affair" sa kanila. nakakatuwa. akala ko kse dati dahil sa sobra nilang busy wala na silang panahon para sa pamilya nila. nagkamali ako. nagtaka tuloy ako kung bakit me mga napapariwara pa rin at me mga nagdidivorce na mga mag-asawa.
16. hindi talaga sila kasing hospitable ng mga pinoy.
17. mukha silang matatanda. ung mga batang nasa high school pa lang ay parang bente anyos na kung manamit. lagi akong napapagkamalang kakatapos lang ng kolehiyo.
18. lumalapit talga ang babae sa lalake at nagbibigay ng numero nila. akala ko sa pelikula lang yun. ngyayari pala talaga.
19. hindi sila sanay makakita ng kulot na tulad ko. ilang babae na ang pumansin ng buhok ko at nagtanong kung natural ba ito o pinagawa ko o sinet ko. sabi ko sa kanila pumunta sila ng pilipinas at dun magpakulot. ang usong buhok dito e gusot gusot.
20. mabenta talga ko dito. ehem ehem!

ilang araw pa lang ako dito. madame pa ko hindi nakikita at naoobserbahan. marami pa kong makikita. maaring mali un mga nakita ko na pero kahit ano pa, natuwa ako na pinoy ako. mas masaya talga ang lahi natin. pero masaya din malaman ang kultura nila kya dadalasan ko pa ang interaksyon sa kanila.